Too good to be true?

Saturday, I had a meeting with a Private Investigator that I met at my old firm. PI Guy brought a huge case to Old Boss and was around the office a lot. We got along really well. Nice guy, middle-aged, smart (enough, but can't spell worth a crap), and he knows a ton of people. He does a lot of legal work and gives legal advice - basically pretends to be an attorney. He's been known to do clients' legal research and write their pleadings. If ever there was a person committing Unauthorized Practice, this is the guy (he's been accused 3 times, but never sued or otherwise sanctioned).

Anyhow, he calls me on Friday to pitch me some cases he's working on, and wants a lawyer to work on. Basically, he's at a stopping point on many of his cases because he can't do hearings. He had a sense of urgency - mostly because he has a forcible detainer case where PI has been helping a home-owner evict a tenant for lease breaches. The thing is, the home is technically owned by the guy's corporation, and a corporation can only be represented by an attorney or an officer of the corp (they haven't appointed officers yet, not that it matters, he's the sole owner) - so the court told him an attorney must file a Notice of Appearance before the judge will grant relief. So I go to PI's office, listen to the facts, procedural history, and current status of the case and give him some of my thoughts. Then came the mind-blowing portion of the discussion.

PI Guy wants to find an attorney, bring them on board, create an LLC, and become business partners. PI Guy will pay my dues, CLE fees, liability insurance, Westlaw access, and front all costs associated with the cases (expert fees, filing costs, law clerk salaries, everything.) I would be salaried initially (to ensure an income), and then once the business gets going (and in any event, less than 1 year), I become an equal shareholder and receive 1/2 of the profits. I get to write the employment agreement.

Obviously, my greatest concerns revolve around being able to competently represent our clients. Most cases are property law, red car/ blue car accidents, employment law, and some criminal work. I've done one case from start to finish - a straightforward car accident case where the insurance company folded and forked over the entire amount of the first demand. So my experience is light to say the least. I am not confident that I would be capable of becoming familiar with all the various areas of law in time to meet the deadlines in some of the cases (there are hearings as early as next week.) For example, in the forcible detainer case - I have no idea what to think about the fact that the corporation hasn't appointed officers yet, but already owns property (hiding assets?) -- Who would I sign the retainer agreement with? -- Would it be valid? -- These are all things I would need to figure out stat. Not to mention having to learn the applicable law for the action itself... It seems a bit overwhelming. But I guess there's lots of pros to learning how to fly a plane while you're building it. I just don't want clients to pa the cost of my inexperience.

What do you think? What would are your greatest concerns/questions? Does it sound too good? Is it a bad idea for a new attorney to jump right into a solo-practice? What obstacles do you foresee? Bonuses? Anyone ever done anything like this? How did it go?

Any and all questions/thoughts/ideas/opinions are welcome (actually, I'm begging you guys on this one.)

I'm supposed to decide soonish.

Concern

Today, I received a comment on an old post entitled Mad World. That post probably gets the most hits of all my old stuff, because people always find me when they search "Mad World meaning."

The comment is scary, and I hope my readers can offer any advice. It says:

"I'm only 12 and am too scared too kill myself because of the effects on my mom and sister. I'm horribly depressed to the point where it's been10 months of psychology and it can't be helped. I care about the world too much and don't want to be in it anymore. What do I do, I beg anyone!"

I'm scared for her(?) - please tell her whatever you think.

Lamest Diet in the Land.

Upon the advice of my grandmother (GRM), Loony Tunes Aunt and affiliated friends of the aforementioned - I have gone on a "gluten-free" diet. Doesn't that totally sound like something for obese elderly people? Anyhow, this consists of switching to soy and rice milk, and other milk-products have been replaced with soy alternatives. Plus I bought lame special cereal that tastes kinda mushy. I guess it's not that bad. And I actually really like soy and rice milk.

Biggest problem with this diet is that it is in conjunction with my 20-years of vegetarianism. I'm basically left eating soy, fruits and vegetables. Everyone says I should start eating some meat again. GRM told me to get over myself.

Here's the thing - I have no problem with the whole "killing animals for human needs" thing. I rock leather Maddens all the time, we beat the cows (and hence the right to eat them), and if there were a medication that would potentially cure my disease - I would hold the monkey down and drip shit in his eye myself. Of course, when I embarked on vegetarianism when I was 8, it was for all those idealistic reasons. But I evolved from that. Nowadays, I don't eat the meat cause it grosses me out. It's like the people on Fear Factor eating the bugs - they can't do it because it's so nasty to them. That's how I feel about all meat. Hate the texture, the look... ucko for days.

So, what to do, what to do. I've been doing the gluten free + vegetarian for about a week with no improvement. I've felt worse in the past few days than I have in weeks. But that could just be a down period. I have those. Good days and bad. So, even though I've been following the diet when I eat, I haven't really been able to eat much (of anything). I'm pretty much convinced this new diet won't work, but I'll catch hell from my grandmother if I don't try it. I think I need the surgery, "skinning" the inner lining of my abdominal wall and cutting off some nerves, to really help. I've been researching the procedure and it does sound like a better option than the hysterectomy (which, I'm told, only gives me a 50% shot at seeing any improvement.) The new operation has a better success rate, although it is a scarier and more complicated procedure.

*sigh* This is all taking SOOOooooo... long. I have an appointment with the new surgeon next week.

Advice on Advice

I saw a Legal Recruiter today. Nice enough girl. I wore my standard interview skirt-suit. Recruiter Lady gave me some "tips" for my upcoming Thursday interview:

1) Earrings: No danglies. I was wearing light blue earrings that matched my suit and they hang about 1/2 inch from my ears. She told me to get studs, if I insist on wearing earrings.

2) Hair: I wore my hair down today, after putting it in rollers and getting some pimp wavy glory. She told me to wear it back in a tight, not loose, bun.

3) Suit: The suit I wore today is black, with small, barely noticeable, light blue pinstripes. Underneath the coat, I wore a light blue shell. She told me to wear an all black suit, with a simple white blouse underneath. Also told me to wear nylons, which I already knew. I simply was not about to wear them in 110 degree weather just to meet Recruiter Lady. She was lucky I even wore a suit. I seriously considered nice slacks with a blouse, sans coat.

4) Standard jewelry: Most disturbing tip received. Recruiter lady told me not to wear my engagement ring to interviews. "You can wear it after you get the job", she said in a transparent attempt to encourage my discomfort at this piece of advice. WTF: why would a potential candidate be faulted for being in a serious relationship?

I see the value of the nylons, that one's a given. I kinda see the value of the bun... the earrings threw me. Most of all, the whole "don't wear your engagement ring" thing threw me to a land far, far away.

What does anyone think about this? If you have tips on interview appearance, please, God please, someone share of your wisdom. Because after talking to Recruiter Lady, I am so totally lost.

~~ Freak Out ~~

If only I would wake.

I feel awful. I've felt awful for so long now. Part of me wants this over. Not going to do anything about it, but I keep wishing it. The idea of death seems sweet when you don't feel alive. But I don't have to make this mistake.

When I think of my father, almost all I remember is a sick man. I am so afraid that is what Daughter will have. Memories of a mother sick. In bed. Crying. I would rather be gone and have her remember a short time of happiness than to only remember me sick. Her voice is all I hear somehow.

Today the hospital called and said that my surgery has finally been authorized. Still not sure when it is, but I'm guessing early next week. Third surgery; they're gonna gut me. Uterus, gallbladder, appendix. Everything I don't technically "need." I hope this works. So badly I hope this works. I need this to work just to get by. And I don't have to stay this way.

I wanted more children. I always thought I might have a son. And another daughter... Three or four kids, that was what I wanted. I really knew that was what I wanted when I found out it would never be. What I do have is
Daughter and Step-Son. Amazing Step-Son, that I hardly see and whose life I have no control over the course of. Daughter is perfect. So perfect that I don't think I deserve her sometimes. My mother has four kids. Seems like a good number. My theory is that about 1/2 of your kids are gonna be different than you expected, or even hoped for. That ratio goes to me and my brother. My other brother and sister are the golden children. With all my eggs in one basket, I fear I'll pressure Daughter too much to be everything that I need, rather than who she wants to become. I could have lost myself in rough blue waters in her eyes.

Feeling philosophical lately. Thinking of all the possibilities. And the what-ifs. The maybes. I am in love with the maybes. A friend told me recently that anything is possible. I don't know if I believe that. Maybe things are only possible if you chase the possibility, catch it, cradle it, and make it yours. Maybe. But then what happens when things are out of your control? I don't know. I don't know what I believe anymore. I should know who I am by now.

I'll try to make it happen. While I wait.

E.P.T. = Embarrassing Purchase Tale

During my lunch break, I went to my local drugstore to purchase a pregnancy test. [Boys - Caution - Girl Stuff Coming]. My period hasn't started, I've been incredibly nauseous, and my boobs are swollen. Not all bad. But I finally got worried enough to wonder whether I was maybe knocked up. The idea seemed outlandish at first - I've been told by plenty of doctors that I probably cannot have more children. A week passed and still no period. It should have come by now. And there were those two days in a row last month that I forgot to take my pill, and even though we used condoms for a few days like you're supposed to, there were other, non-condom escapades... Plus, Fiance' and I have a lot of sex, so the chances of me getting sperminated while ovulating are decent (save for the whole "I'm supposed to be infertile" thing). Anyhow, today was the day I decided that I needed to make sure one way or the other. So I go to the drugstore, grab the box, and walk to the counter to purchase the only item I retrieved.

The cashier engaged me:

Cashier: Looks down at my purchase as he scans it. Beep. "Quite a day huh?" Glance at my face searches for a reaction.
Lex: Oh My God, he is talking about my pregnancy test! "Yup." Big smile.
Cashier: "So, you're hoping for a positive result?" He's genuinely curious. Why?
Lex: Oh My God, how can he ask me that!!! "Yeah." Embarrassed girlie smile.
Cashier: "Do you want a boy or a girl?"
Lex: Can't believe I'm having this conversation. "Doesn't matter, so long as the baby is healthy."
Cashier: Smile. "That's what counts."
Lex: "Sure is."
Cashier: "Well, good luck. Here's your receipt."
Lex: What, am I going to return the test if I don't get the result I want? "Thanks." Walks out quickly.

The thing is, I wasn't buying the test "hoping" I am pregnant. I was scared. All I could think about was what I would do, how Fiance' would feel, how Daughter would react. Will I keep the baby? I've always said I am pro-choice but could never have an abortion myself. But I've talked about doing it if I became pregnant by accident. Especially at this point in my life, when I'm poor, trying to get healthy, wishing I were established in my career, and so on. On the other hand, I love being a mom, and they all said I can't have another baby, so if I am pregnant, shouldn't I keep the baby because I might not ever have this chance again? Would it be like "a sign." Nah, I don't believe in signs. Point is, I wasn't buying the test with the hope it would give me a "+" for pregnancy. But I pretended like I did to Cashier Guy, because I didn't want him to judge me. I didn't want this random stranger to think I was some whore who got knocked up, probably to get some guy to stay with me or to milk someone for child support. I didn't want him to think bad of me, so I lied and pretended I was ecstatic at the possibility.

I got to work and immediately went to the restroom and peed on the stick.

Negative.