Ask yourself.

Sitting outside watching the moon chase rain clouds, I randomly asked myself a question: How many people do I love? (Relatives not included).

I came up with three.

Is that sad? It seems sad. I can't explain why.

What's your count?

New Year's Resolutions

Finally, 2008. I called a friend in California when it was 2008 here and 2007 there. I wished him a Happy New Year even though he wasn't there yet, but told him he would catch up. Somehow, the concept seemed really meaningful. I can't explain why.

Putting 2007 behind me feels like rebirth. Looking back, the last year can appear a waste - down sick most of the year, fired, surgery... sucksville. I'm looking for the lessons. Humility. For sure. I flew through life easy-style for a long, long time. Many years. Got to the point where I started thinking everything would, naturally, come easy. To me. As if I deserved it or something. Then the bullshit came and I thought I would fall into and over and away with it. Falling on your ass hurts bad. Even now, even feeling better, I still feel it. I have scars to prove it. Scars to remind me there is no golden platter. Not one with my name on it anyway. And I'm starting to think maybe life wouldn't be so great if there had been...

Ok, so this year. This year I need to:

1) Find jobbie-job. With health benefits.

2) Get married. (Aiming for 8-8-08, save the date).

3) Find sex-tape.

4) Destroy sex-tape.

5) Start running again.

6) Go to beach. Twice. At least.

7) Stockpile highlighters from New Job.

8) Read Bible again. Highlight impossible/idiotic passages.

9) Call loved ones more. And return emails. (I was terrible about that last year.)

10) Learn tween slang. I'm 28 years old and I have no idea what half the things these kids are saying mean...

11) Try salmon.

12) Obtain minimum of two pairs of new Steve Madden shoes.

13) Read every dictionary entry under letter "L".

Wish me luck. Note that blogging more isn't on the list. I don't know what direction I'm going with LexLand anymore. Maybe I'm growing out of it. Maybe Lex has served her purpose. Maybe she's just begun. Maybe she'll start blogging again like crazy. Dunno. I'm not forcing any direction on the issue. I'll live it as it comes for sure; and maybe I'll write it.