In My Life I Love You More.
For some silly, girlish, romantic reasoning that lacks logic, I always disliked the fact that Paul McCartney remarried after Linda died. It felt like betrayal.
I had this image of Paul and Linda and perfect love, which I don't maintain is based on any personal knowledge, fact or even attempted research. Actually, it's based mostly on that Wings video where they look completely in love and the way I damn near cry evertime I hear "Maybe I'm Amazed." I fell in love with the idea and part of me wanted Paul to mourn Linda, foregoing all others, until his last day. I recognize that isn't really fair to the survivor left behind in a relationship. Or to the one-legged former model who I'm sure was nice enough, saving seals and all. But I wanted Paul to take one for the team and my symbolism.
So, needless to say, I am feeling a little too satisfied today when Paul and the other girl announced their separation.
I had this image of Paul and Linda and perfect love, which I don't maintain is based on any personal knowledge, fact or even attempted research. Actually, it's based mostly on that Wings video where they look completely in love and the way I damn near cry evertime I hear "Maybe I'm Amazed." I fell in love with the idea and part of me wanted Paul to mourn Linda, foregoing all others, until his last day. I recognize that isn't really fair to the survivor left behind in a relationship. Or to the one-legged former model who I'm sure was nice enough, saving seals and all. But I wanted Paul to take one for the team and my symbolism.
So, needless to say, I am feeling a little too satisfied today when Paul and the other girl announced their separation.
posted by Lex Fori at
10:04 AM
3 Comments:
I know what you mean. Paul & Linda seemed to have the type of love affair that only exists in (I have to go here) silly love songs. I heard once that the only time they ever spent a night apart was when he was arrested in Tokyo. One time. That just doesn't happen nowadays.
Still, I do hope he and Heather are able to find happiness, even if it looks like that happiness will be apart. Truth be told, it always seemed like the cards were stacked against them - the reaction from the kids, the way the media never seemed to warm up to her, etc.
By
TEM, at 1:33 PM
The romantic in you is ever present! It is something that makes you special! However, from the practical side....
Paul, or anyone in his situation, has to continue living! Yes a part of him died with Linda, but there was another part of him that needs that special love from another! To not allow him that is rather on the selfish side!
My question on this topic is, how long after a separation, divorce, death, should a person wait before engaging in another relationship?
Personally, I believe as soon as the person wants to engage in another relationship they should do so. Some cultures say a year, in others, it is years, some never - kind of like Lex's romantic ideal in the post! I believe there is love all around, and to cut yourself off from that flow is just not healthy in any way, shape or form! No matter how long/short it has been since the end of the most recent relationship, there is no reason that a new spark can't grow immediately.
There are those who say that by "jumping" into the next relationship, they are on the rebound, or not respecting the memory of the past relationship. To them, and Lex, I say, get over it! The person who has engaged in the new relationship obviously has gotten over it, so, now, you have to also!
And finally, I don't find it disrespectful to find a new relationship while mourning the old relationship. If the old relationship was healthy, both partners would acknowledge that when one is gone, the other must live on. If I passed, I would want CECA to find a new healthy relationship. Should anybody else say differently, or judge, I wonder just how healthy a relationship they have ever experienced! ...and why wouldn't they want CECA to have a healthy relationship!
Love works in mysterious way, who are we to limit the effects of love!
By
Crazy East Coast Uncle, at 4:19 AM
I agree. A person should absolutely be able to have another relationship after they lose someone they love. Note that I fessed up 100% to the irrationality of my sentiment.
As for how long to wait - I think it's as long as it takes until you are emotionally ready to be able to love someone else - fairly. Where you truly are capable of accepting the former's absence and the new person is not just a space filler. I think the time range varies so much, it's impossible to place a number on it.
For instance, if the person you are with is ill, and death is impending, it seems that the survivor is naturally beginning to accept the death even before it comes. That person may heal sooner than a person who loses their significant other unexpectedly in a tragic accident.
I dunno, I'm completely with you, I would want BF to find happiness without me as well (ouch, kinda hard to say). I realize that it is not right to expect someone you love to die alive just because you died for real.
As for CECA, I already have some hotties lined up for her when you kick the can.
;)
By
Lex Fori, at 8:40 AM
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