And then there were four.

In July, I moved into a four bedroom house, bringing along Brother, Brother's Son (Nephew), Cousin J., Myself, Daughter and Boyfriend. Cousin J., facing an overwhelming lack of mack, gave up early and left in December - heading back to The Creek (NorCal), where there were plenty ladies who love him long time.

Brother, for the past few months, has worked only on and off, creating a huge financial strain on the house. He approached me Monday informing that he was about to be fired, because he did not have a vehicle. Stunned, I responded that there was little I could do: I had already floated his portion of the rent for nearly two months and was waking up at 5:00am to take him to work. And that was only after the truck I gave him broke down. I explained there was little I could do and if he could not figure something out, I would be forced to breach the rental lease and downgrade to an apartment. Furthermore, I would not take him in that event. We argued back and forth until ultimately it was determined that he would move out. So, today at 12 noon, I am off to take him to the Greyhound Station. Nephew will stay with us for another month until Brother gets set up.

Part of me feels horrible. I realize there is only so much I can do to help family, but I really, really wanted this to work. Unfortunately, I feel taken advantage of and guilt-tripped. The wise aunt I look up to warned me that this would happen and I repeated over and over that I had to try. I am still glad that I tried. But devastated it has not worked out. The worst part of this whole thing is that I know Nephew will suffer the most. He has never had a stable environment, and is about to lose the closest thing he ever had to that. Breaks my heart. I wish his parents would let me adopt him.

I am also super-disappointed in my mother. I talked with her on Monday, where she offered much support, explaining that I had done all I could and this is just how Brother is. Last night, she called - asking how it was that I could give up, why I was initially so determined to help only to abandon now, and pointing to the difficulties this would cause for Nephew. Brother is heading back to Cali and plans to stay at Mother's. Angered, I pointed out that Mother was changing her tune, and that I firmly believed this was simply because she does not want to house him for the next month. Mother didn't agree and immediately got back to questioning my dedication to Brother and Nephew..

I am distraught. Brother is angry with me. Mother is angry with me. I love them both dearly and hate that the situation is awkward because I decided not to go down on a sinking ship. The ship isn't yet completely under, but there is a pretty severe leak. I am trying to figure out how to patch it.

So now I am left to figure out what to do next. In the course of 6 weeks, I lost all the family roommates. Now I am out 1250 per month. My credit is screwed because of medical bills and I know any apartment I can get into will be ghetto. I so don't want to do the ghetto thing again.

There is the option of moving in Boyfriend's Brother (Uncle Reptile) and his girlfriend (My Banker). Boyfriend says they would make great roommates and I agree. My Banker and Daughter get along really well and for that reason alone I feel a strong connection to her. Not to mention that she was the one who looked out for Boyfriend all those years while we were apart. I shudder to think what would have happened if he didn't have a friend like her. She's one of the few girls that I actually really like a lot, and I don't like many girls. Uncle Reptile is Zen, that's always a good sign. His presence is relaxing. The problem is knowing that I can't float the month until their lease is up - but, man-o-man, I want to. I have considered robbing a convenience store down the street that has really bad security - but that seems kinda mean. I've also considered robbing the attorney across the hall that took me out for "bar exam advice" only to later hit on me. But the cost of that would be more than my dignity could handle.

Dag Nabbit, Cheese and Rice. I hate to have all this stress to deal with just two weeks before I am scheduled to take the Bar.

Grumble.

I know this post is of zero-interest to readers. But, well, it's cheaper than therapy.

If today weren't Friday, I would go postal tomorrow at work.