Flattered to Freaked Over the Course of a Latte

I am almost better. Still have a cough, but mostly past it. In an effort to feel even better, I decided to shower up and run errands. Two of these were: 1) get latte and 2) restock adult store supplies.

Anyhow, driving down the road, in a pretty smooth car that isn't mine, I was rocking Lebanese Blonde by Thievery Corporation. I was having an excellent hair day. And wearing a fantastically coordinated outfit. Stopped at a red light, I noticed this Uber-Hot guy checking me out. Very exciting for Ms. Fori.

I parked and went into the coffee shop. I got in the back of line and Uber-Hot guy walked in!! He was looking straight at me. Piercing green eyes. Perfect brown hair. Confidence. Hot. I smiled and said hi and he hi'd back, smiling bigger. He ordered a huge ice cream and I waited for him to strike up conversation. He kept looking over, smiling - which was cute. He even stood there smiling after he got his ice cream. But that was it - he never took it to the next level. At that point, I was so baffled he hadn't, I figured maybe he thought I wasn't so cute up close. Doubt set in and I became too nervous to talk. Ah well. Mutual insecurity snagged herself another missed opportunity I suppose.

I got my coffee and walked down a couple of shops to the Adult Store. I was there less than 2 minutes when Uber-Hot guy rolled in. Must have thrown away his ice cream, because there is no way he finished that fast. I found him next to me now and again, looking at me look. Kinda creepy. Standing next to the whips and clamps section, I glanced back and saw him shamelessly gawking. It was at this point I decided Uber-Hot guy was really Super-Weird guy. He verified this when he picked up a harness and held it up just a bit, smiling at me across the store.

Fucking weirdo.

It was way out of hand. For those of you who don't ever go into adult stores, let me say this is by far the exception. Adult stores are generally staffed by friendly, knowledgeable people and are a wonderful place to learn about sexual health and safety. Fellow customers maintain a reasonable distance and don't laugh at you when you accidently drop a vibrator. I fully endorse adult stores.

As for having the rare boost of my vanity quickly shifted to self-preserving weirdo fear - that's not so much an exception. I'm super attracted to artsy guys. The payoff is huge, but weeding out the good ones is so, so difficult. The line between inspired-creativity and delusional mental disorder takes awhile to find sometimes. Hitting on girls via strap-on harness clearly falls on the delusional mental disorder side of said line.