"Good things come to those who wait, Lex."

"Better things come to those who don't, Mom."

It was years ago I offered my mother that response, and she never forgot the exchange. Mom just flew home after a week-long visit, and I am left with a realization: I suffer from severe Make Mommy Proud syndrome!!! Senseless really, because my mother says she would be proud of me if I sold beans out of a box. That seems extreme, but it's probably true, my mom is just the kind of person who would see that as an opporunity to have a flexible schedule, no strings attached to The Man and an outstanding chance of meeting interesting people. Congitive dissonance maybe. Mom doesn't judge; I think it's a favor she doesn't want returned.

Aside from that, the exchange is relevant to me because I'm at one of those all important crossroads. I'm making huge decisions that will have long-term impacts on me, my daughter, family, etc. Time to figure out how high the next leg of life is going to kick. It's scary and exciting and reminds me that I'm young and alive. I've decided to move out of state, closer to Daughter's father. Daughter is super-stoked about it. I worry it won't be perfect, but can't imagine not trying. It's amazing how people who love me more than anyone else always want me to take the safe route. I think deep down, instead of worrying like everyone else, my mom is proud of me for insisting on taking risks for things I believe in. I want to think so. Whenever she talks about the exchange we had all that time ago, she looks up at me with a sly smile, green eyes blaring with anticipation. Maybe she admires my ability to walk into fire despite best estimates; maybe she wants that admiration returned.