Exact Approximations

Friday, March 23, 2007

Morning Talk

At work this morning, Republican Paralegal, Office Manager and I were talking:

Republican Paralegal: "I was at church last night, running the youth activity, and the kids were having so much fun. Our church is renovating the informational desk..."

Lex: Interrupting. "Your church has an informational desk?" That's weird, wouldn't a church Informational Desk consist of a table with a Bible on it?

Republican Paralegal: Annoyed. "Yeah, it does. Anyhow, we let the kids tear some of the old stuff down, and one little girl hit another little girl with a sledgehammer."

Office Manager: "Oh my gosh, was she ok?"

Lex: Less interested in the health update. "That's what they get for destroying the House of God."

Republican Paralegal: "Geez Lex..." Turns to Office Manager. "Yes, she's fine. Her mom came to pick her up and take her home, and she started crying because she didn't want to leave."


Phone rings. Call for Lex. Conversation with Client. Client ends call with "God Bless You."

Lex: Walks back into hallway and asks Office Manager and Republican Paralegal: "How do you respond when you're an Atheist and someone says God Bless You, without being rude?"

Republican Paralegal: "Just say thank you."

Lex: "Okay, so no trying to convert them huh?"

Office Manager: "You're an Atheist?"

Lex: "You didn't know?"

Office Manager: "I didn't."

Lex: "Yeah, it's no secret. Haven't you seen my screensaver? It's a picture of a dinosaur and it says 'never forget.'"

Office Manager: "No, I've never seen it.

Lex: "Yeah, I'm not down with God. I think religion is a mild form of socially-induced schizophrenia." Waved my hands in the air like a crazy person. "Ooooohhh no, there's a Big Man in the sky watching everything I do and he knows all my thoughts."

Republican Paralegal: Shocked.

Office Manager: Shocked. "Social schizophrenia huh..."

Lex: "Yeah, totally." Walk back into my office, ready for the day's work.

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3 Comments:

  • Awesome...Excellent! I am not with the atheist angle, but, I love it when high-minded religious types have it thrown in their face! I can't stand the religious holier-than-thou bullshit!

    Well done! This post made me smile big time!

    By Blogger Crazy East Coast Uncle, at 5:19 PM  

  • It'll be interesting to see how the office manager relays this to the boss man and how the dynamics go then. People get weird when they think that they are being good for no reason. lolol.. At least believing in something keeps them on the straight and narrow..
    How sad is that.
    Loony Tunes Aunt

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:55 AM  

  • I *think* The Boss already knew I'm an Atheist. He's pretty good at picking up on things... Besides, I would be surprised if Republican Paralegal hasn't managed to slip that in somehow already.

    I was there when The Boss heard the whole "tearing down the church" story. His reponse? "They should make t-shirts: Getting Hammered for Jesus."

    By Blogger Lex Fori, at 2:37 PM  

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