Lex's Theory on Bedside Manners
Boyfriend and I have been having some bedside confusion lately. Fortunately, the misunderstanding was cleared up last night along with my fears that my love was in jeapordy.
Now, maybe I'm making too big a deal here, but I truly believe in the telling nature of disruption in bed sides. One of the clearest signs of being in a serious relationship is when the two of you have established sides of the bed. Once sides of the bed are established, there is no going back. If your partner suddenly wants to change sides of the bed, your relationship is likely in serious trouble. This is because changing bed sides isn't really about seriously wanting to mix it up, it's a hidden power ploy. Your partner suddenly wants to move from the left to the right, not because there is something missing in the left side, but because the right side is yours. It's all about determining whether or not the other person is willing to bend to your will.
Is anyone with me on this, or am I a nutbar?
Boyfriend: Laying on my side of the bed watching t.v. "Do you want your side of the bed back?"
Lex: Quickly. "Yes!"
Boyfriend: "Whoah. No big deal. Why the excitement?"
Lex: "Because, that's my side of the bed, and you have slept on it a couple times in the past week and... well, it's my side of the bed. Once sides of the bed are disrupted, everything goes to hell."
Boyfriend: Looks at me like I'm crazy. "I just did that because you were on my side already."
Lex: Relieved. "Oh, ok. Well, that was just to watch t.v. For sleeping, I need to keep my side."
Boyfriend: Still looking at me like I'm crazy. "Oooohhh-Kaay."
Now, maybe I'm making too big a deal here, but I truly believe in the telling nature of disruption in bed sides. One of the clearest signs of being in a serious relationship is when the two of you have established sides of the bed. Once sides of the bed are established, there is no going back. If your partner suddenly wants to change sides of the bed, your relationship is likely in serious trouble. This is because changing bed sides isn't really about seriously wanting to mix it up, it's a hidden power ploy. Your partner suddenly wants to move from the left to the right, not because there is something missing in the left side, but because the right side is yours. It's all about determining whether or not the other person is willing to bend to your will.
Is anyone with me on this, or am I a nutbar?
posted by Lex Fori at
1:07 PM
11 Comments:
This could be true in a free standing bed in the middle of the room. However, my bed is right up against the wall so there are major advantages/disadvantages to sides of the bed.
By
Arbusto, at 3:03 PM
Yeah, but the pros and cons of sleeping next to the wall or the window - whatever, have already been taken into consideration once sides of the bed have been established. I think there can be legitimate arguments between the two during the formation/designation stage of the bed side determination without it necessarily signaling relationship problems. But once that shit is established, revisiting the matter is what concerns me and seems to be more about power than the genuine issue of which side is better.
By
Lex Fori, at 3:28 PM
I must be the exception that proves the rule. Goob and I switch spots every couple of months or so -- it just sort of happens. Besides, it keeps us from getting in too much of a routine. Changing things up in the bedroom is always a good thing.
- Ryan
By
Anonymous, at 4:55 PM
LEX...so glad you are blogging again!!!!!
I told CECA when we married that there would be no "my side-your side" to our bed. For the first so many years, that worked, since we were trying so many positions prior to sleeping that it didn't matter were we fell asleep.
Then we moved to Florida and didn't have to show off for the neighbors across the wall in the next apartment.
In the 6 years in Fla, we have changed our bedroom around about 5 times. We have gone through 3 different beds, a regular, then a water, and now another regular! As for "sides", we have gone back and forth.
I have found that it is not necessarily the left or the right side of the bed that gets "claimed"! She likes to be nearer to the bathroom, and I like to be directly in front of the TV. Heaven help me if I am on the bathroom side of the bed.
Of course, after a good romp in bed, we don't care which side we fall asleep on...That has never changed!
So, Lex, take BF for a wild ride, and exhaust yourselves, then see if you care which side you fall asleep on!
If you still care...you didn't exhaust yourselves enough! Jump on and get exhausted till you don't care!
By
Crazy East Coast Uncle, at 4:31 AM
I say nutjob.
Just because I think you are anyway:)
No, makes sense.
The real reason I am here is to advise you to check out SadiesGrey. I'm back Biatch.
Its not very good yet, but give me time.
By
Anonymous, at 10:50 AM
Are you still on your medication? lolol.. You need to have that operation. I would think that it shouldn't matter that much, you know bf loves you no matter what and there are more important things to stress about other than which side you fall asleep on. Besides he told you the reason was because you were watching tv on his side. Uncle GQ MUST sleep on the right cause he's left handed and sleeps on his left with arm out. The side we sleep on was established right away.
Loony Tunes Aunt
By
Anonymous, at 9:42 AM
Ah CECU, once again you are far too interested in my sex life. You are truly a freak.
Rest assured, Boyfriend and I try many, many positions and get plenty exhausted when we put our minds to it. I'm thinking of sex as a completely different subject than the sides of the bed issue.
I guess perhaps not as many people as I thought have sides of the bed picked out. That seems weird to me. But at least Uncle GQ does, and that guy doesn't bullshit much, so he must be on to something.
Ryan -- Goob? I know that's not her real name, so I just gotta know where the nickname comes from...
By
Lex Fori, at 3:58 PM
Hmmm...interest in your sex life?! Nah....just commenting on your blog! You put it out there for the comments so I commented!
Now I could get in trouble for this but...what the hell :)
That is like the lady who dresses sleazy, gives all the guys "the look", then claims after she was raped, that she wasn't asking for it!
Now I am not saying you are sleazy, or that lady...but, you put it, your sex life, out there on your blog, and I just commented on it!
I can't wait for this reply! :)
I can hear the steam coming out of your ears over here!
By
Crazy East Coast Uncle, at 5:20 AM
*sigh*
Ah CECU, you can spin better than O'Reiley any day. FYI - this post wasn't about sex, you turned it into sex. You're like one of those rapists who says she asked for it ;) You likely have a sordid, sordid past. And to think your comment would leave me steaming... well, I have a far higher threshold than that.
How much are we loving the Foley Catheter Scandal? Down with the Republicans! Take that Grand Republican Matriarch. I am starting to hope your prediction for the November elections may well come true =)
By
Lex Fori, at 8:56 AM
"Starting to hope"?!!?!!? You better get it in gear, and KNOW that the Bushevics are about to get toasted at the election booth in Nov. Can you say "Speaker Pelosi"! And, now more than ever, I think the Senate will go to the Dems also. When they get into office, I sure hope the Dems open up all kinds of investigations into all of the crap that the Reps did for the past 12 years, especially, the last 6 with Bushie Boy at the helm. :)
Go Dems! BTW,...did you ever "out" the Bush-War-Lover in your office? Still curious!
By
Crazy East Coast Uncle, at 7:27 PM
So...uh...back to the bed topic at hand.
IrishTenor and I each have "our" side of the bed, but we've switched from time to time. In his old place, I had the right side of the bed. It was the side closer to the TV; this meant if we were cuddled up watching a movie, I could see. At his new place, I'm on the left side. He's on the right side nearer to his alarm clock.
So we've switched, but it's never really been about power. It's more of a tacit agreement that the switch better suits our purposes at the time.
By
SouthernCanadian, at 6:51 AM
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