50 Things About Me

The following began as a 100 Things About Me List that I began writing over the summer after seeing it on someone else's blog. I never finished it. I have been running circles today motion-writing, interviewing, record-collecting.... so I am pulling some stuff off of the "draft" shelf. I would hate to just not post anything today.

This is a more difficult exercise than you would think - I encourage fellow bloggers to steal my stolen idea and replicate

1. My favorite anything ever is my daughter.

2. I have greenish-blue eyes.

3. The green came out with age and the blue comes out with sadness or anger.

4. But I am rarely angry.

5. Small, yappy dogs are one of the few things I really dislike.

6. I've never been to New York City, but daydream about it all the time.

7. The first time I got a 'C' on an exam, all I could think was that my 'C', turned on its side, looked like half an ass.

8. Eight is my lucky number, because, turned on its side, it looks like the infinity sign. The concept of infinity has fascinated me since childhood. Infinite things - like numbers, absolute truth or the blackness in space... these things stand out from most other things in life . Most things, like kindergarden, last weekend and Family Guy - they all have a beginning, middle and end. They are wonderful but temporary, with only blackness in space lucky enough to be part of it all. 8.

9. I believe that when a tree falls down and nobody hears, it does make a sound. If it didn't, the infinite things would notice immediately and freak the fuck out. That's right. The existence of the number 8 proves that a tree does make a sound even when no one hears it.

10. Number of times I've already been asked what the two previous things mean.

11. Lists look long when listing lengthily.

12. Since leaving California, I think about the beach every single day.

13. Age I last saw my father. This one was longer, but there is a dedicated post about Dad coming down the pipes. More on him later.

14. Age I met the first and greatest romantic love of my life. Empathetic, intelligent, gentle... many of the core ideals I live by can be traced to his influence.

15. Age I spent the greatest summer of my life in a little town called Sullivan, Missourri. During a few short months of symbolism and imagination, I learned what life could be.

16. Age I got a whole lotta crazy out of my system. Removed any need I may have later had to join a sorority or become an alcoholic.

17. Age I gave birth to Daughter. Correspondingly, age at which I learned that perfect things really can exist. The freedom this knowledge allows is powerful.

18. Age I started getting carded for cigarettes for the first time in five years.

19. Enough age things.

20. I love leather and support animal research. Humans won. We get to exploit cows.

21. I felt differently when I was younger. My mom tells a story about how, at age 3 or 4, I broke down at the table upon learning dinner was once a cow. Mom never forgets to add how I went on to accuse her of feeding me the foot.

22. I became a vegetarian when I was 8 years old after my step-father dared me into it.

23. The actual reason I still don't eat meat is ridiculously simple. It grosses me out. To imagine consuming something that was moving around, all stinky, eating off the ground and crapping everywhere. Eeeewww. The way Fear Factor people feel about eating bugs is the way I feel about eating meat

24. I have two older brothers and a younger sister. I have an older sister somewhere that I've never met. Pretty sure she doesn't even know I exist. She's about as old as my brother. I don't deny that my father was a punk, but back in the day, he was a pimptastic punk. Maybe I'll be able to find her someday. So far no luck.

25. I can say the alphabet backwards no problem. Even when drunk. I taught myself how to years ago, figuring it it might come in handy some day.

26. It never comes in handy, except at a winding down party, when the revelers are trying to determine who is incapable of driving by giving eachother field sobriety tests. Drunk people are seriously impressed when you sing the CBA's flawlessly. It's a party trick. I have three.

27. The second is that I can make an origami dog. "Oh, see this napkin? BAM!! Now it's a dog!"

28. The third is that I am a Cuber; master of the Cube of Rubik's. Om.

29. Recently, I conquered an image-cube, which is hard because it has pictures instead of block color, and the center pieces get oriented all wrong. Props to My Banker for providing me the best toy I ever had.

30. There is also a Professor's Cube, which is 5x5 instead of the standard 3x3. I've never seen one in person, but I wish I had a Professor's Cube so bad.

31. When counting sexual partners, girls only get 1/2 point. My best friend and I rationalized this as a necessary adjustment for the penetration-difference factor among boys and girls. We decided this when we first hammered out the details of our point-keeping system in the seventh grade, but we're stuck with it now for evermore.

32. Let's just say my number is not a whole number.

33. Neither is hers.

34. Isn't that gorilla Koko, the sign-language one, just too cute for words!?!

35. The difference between Northern California and Southern California is that people from Southern California are real about being fake, and people from Northern California are fake about being real.

36. The above was hijacked from an old friend who I miss. He was a primary friend of Ex-Husband's though, so I lost him in the divorce.

37. Which is too bad, because I always did think he was hot in a smart, under-cover asshole kind of way. Actually, he was pretty hot in the regular way too.

38. I'm think my personal statement got me into Boalt Hall. It was post-prop 209 in California, so race was technically not supposed to be considered. However, my personal statement discussed discrimination I have encountered and the block of immigration and African-American Studies classes. Any thoughts on whether this might imply the race of the writer? You may say no, but one thing is certain, I was the only white kid I remember seeing in those classes, which I always thought was such a shame.

39. My all time dream vehicle is a 1949, 2nd series 3100 Chevrolet. This would only be a show and hobby truck though, since I would like to drive hybrids. Then I could express my disgust with all cars instead of just the SUVs.

40. I don't usually have good luck, but I think that's because my mother stole it. I've never seen anyone with a better gambling streak than this woman. She probably made a deal with Satan.

41. Once, while Ex-Husband and I were shadow-boxing, I aimed for his shoulder and he blocked with his neck. He was off the emergency room quick-like. I stayed home because Daughter was sleeping. The entire night, I stared out the window waiting .... for the police to come arrest me. The previous day, I learned about mandatory domestic violence reporting laws. I was way more worried about that then Ex-Husband's well being.

42. I often wonder what the answer to life, the universe and everything is.

43. When I was four years old, I woke up in the middle of the night to find that my house was on fire.

44. I ran to my parents room, where I found not only the two of them, but an extra woman in their bed as well.

45. No conclusions drawn from that one. Psht. Go mom.

46. Extra woman was my step-mother within three years.

47. When I was five (maybe 6) year's old, my mother caught me trying to breastfeed my Cabbage Patch doll.

48. Another thing that happened when I was five was my brother got a Gremlin toy. He followed me around the house all day, telling me he was going to throw water on it and feed it after midnight. I was so afraid that I went in his room after he fell asleep and stole his Gremlin. I then broke off its head and limbs, presumably rendering it incapable of reproduction.

49. I went skydiving because I believe a unique experience is worth unecessary risk.

50. I went tandem because I don't believe in needlessly maximizing unecessary risk.

For those making it to the end - I wonder - what are the most striking Things on the list?