Nair Lip

This weekend, I decided to do a little upper lip hair removal. I used Nair. Apparently, I used Nair for too long. Now, my upper lip is red, and beginning to get all flaky. Because questions are certain to follow, I am working up a list of good excuses.

- Acid milk-mustache. Likely related to mad cow disease.
- Really cheap, partial facial peel.
- Super hot sex with a lesbian who hasn't waxed in awhile.
- Inability to apply lipstick correctly. Coupled with a severe lipstick allergy.
- Sunbathing in a ski-mask with not enough mouth protection.

Once I hit the big time, I'm shelling out for electroylsis. Until then, please help with other good responses to the ever burning question: "what the hell happened to your mouth?"