Web Comparisons - When Will I Die?
Studying for the bar is boring. I'm gonna fail, so I decided to find out when the rest of me would fail too. I went online and did a few Death Tests. Had to do more than 1, for comparison and integrity reasons. Obviously.
Anyhow, the results:
Nerd Tests has me dead at 74. No details on the how.
Spark says I am going to kick the can at 56 years old. (Friday, July 13th 2035, to be specific. Friday the 13th, go figure.)
Possible causes:
14% cancer
7% cleaning my rifle (nonsense, I am so against owning or using a gun).
7% heart attack
3% suicude
O.K. Cupid has me dead at age 68.8 years (January 2048).
Probable cause - cancer (56%)
Other possibilities:
24% ulcers/bowel toughness
13% overdose
5% drowning of the lungs
2% wounds
O.K. Cupid also notes that I have 15310.1 days left on this earth and already lived 39% of my life. Cheese and rice, 39%. That seems like a lot.
Allrighty. Morbid posting. Good times.
UPDATE - As per Genevieve's comment regarding the boring list most sites give for cause of death, I realized that I had this in my drafts. I took the test months ago, and just never got around to publishing it. Now seems good. And the cause of death is pretty funny.
You will be sucked dry by a leech. I'd stay away
from swimming holes, and stick to good old
cement. Even if it does hurt like hell when
your toe scrapes the bottom.
What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?
brought to you by
Anyhow, the results:
Nerd Tests has me dead at 74. No details on the how.
Spark says I am going to kick the can at 56 years old. (Friday, July 13th 2035, to be specific. Friday the 13th, go figure.)
Possible causes:
14% cancer
7% cleaning my rifle (nonsense, I am so against owning or using a gun).
7% heart attack
3% suicude
O.K. Cupid has me dead at age 68.8 years (January 2048).
Probable cause - cancer (56%)
Other possibilities:
24% ulcers/bowel toughness
13% overdose
5% drowning of the lungs
2% wounds
O.K. Cupid also notes that I have 15310.1 days left on this earth and already lived 39% of my life. Cheese and rice, 39%. That seems like a lot.
Allrighty. Morbid posting. Good times.
UPDATE - As per Genevieve's comment regarding the boring list most sites give for cause of death, I realized that I had this in my drafts. I took the test months ago, and just never got around to publishing it. Now seems good. And the cause of death is pretty funny.
You will be sucked dry by a leech. I'd stay away
from swimming holes, and stick to good old
cement. Even if it does hurt like hell when
your toe scrapes the bottom.
What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?
brought to you by
posted by Lex Fori at
9:41 AM
4 Comments:
Good point. I just assumed I always get pinged with cancer because I smoke.
But, I should get heavier %s of stroke / heart attack n stuff. My father's side of the family (as I understand it) has a history of heart problems. But that may be environmental. My father's mother, whenever she fed us meat, would say "eat the fat, it's good for you." This may be a subconscious reason why I went vegetarian at age 8. The conscious reason was because my step-father dared me into it.
I will say that "drowning of the lungs" made me laugh =) I could totally see myself drowning in a tablespoon of water - even though, as a child, I never believed it when they told me that was possible.
By
Lex Fori, at 11:14 AM
My favorite was always, "B is for Basil assaulted by bears."
I guess if you make the assumption that these test results are a sample of the population of all such test results, you could take a few more and average them, thus estimating the expected value of all test results (aka, the expected value of the estimate of when you will die).
I can't believe I just typed all that. I need to go be sucked dry by a leech now.
By
SouthernCanadian, at 1:49 PM
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. You will sink in a mire. You like to think you're normal, but deep down you really just want to strip off your clothes and roll around in chicken fat.
Apparently that's how I'm destined to go.
By
SouthernCanadian, at 5:00 PM
I'm getting smothered by a rug.
By
Arbusto, at 12:41 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home