Go to Arizona, Catch Inhibition Disorder.
That should be the tagline for Arizona's latest 'visit our state' campaign.
I was in Arizona last week, looking for jobs and housing. I finished law school (sorta) and am relocating out of Berkeley, California to a little place I like to call "The P.H.X." I guess Phoenix is not really a little place; it's also not at all similiar weather-wise to my current location. It's funny, I spent 13 years of my life stuck in a desert. And once I realized what else was out there, all I wanted was to get out. I finally did when I got to Berkeley. Who would have ever guessed life would bring me back to a bigger desert? Crazy.
Anyhow, while in the state, I realized a few things. These things support my theory that you can literally catch inhibition disorder in Arizona:
1) Speed limit signs mean nothing to these people. You are officially on Tard Status if you are not at least doubling any posted speed limit under 35mph. This drives me up the fucking wall. I've always hated when cars get all up on me wanting me to speed up. Usually, I daydream about driving super slow and smiling big in the rearview. I usually stop myself from doing this. Arizona freed me from my self-imposed restraint. I did this numerous times. I enjoyed it far too much. Sometimes I flipped them off, if they had a Bush bumper sticker. Lots of them do.
2) Bitter overweight people sometimes take it out on others. I fly Southwest, airline of the poor. As I was boarding, my laptop bag accidently knocked the shoulder of some lady. She gave me the dirtiest look and said in the snidest tone "Why don't people like you check their baggage?!?" Normally, I would apologize profusely and feel super-bad. But, I had Arizona freedom, so my reply was "Why don't people like you buy two seats?" She was so offended. Any guilt I felt over my immature comment was gone by the time I received my complimentary in-flight Coke. Stupid Fatty.
3) "Cox Cable" owns the P.H.X. - Apparently, all services ranging from phone, cable, internet, everything - all come from the same company, Cox. I tried so hard to not be that lame person who busts out laughing everytime some person, the television or the radio, said Cox, which was a lot. But, alas, no avail. I'm that guy, like Beavis. "Huhu. They said 'Cox.'" Everytime.
I need to learn to keep my mouth shut, but this isn't my fault. I deny all allegations and blame it on that state.
I was in Arizona last week, looking for jobs and housing. I finished law school (sorta) and am relocating out of Berkeley, California to a little place I like to call "The P.H.X." I guess Phoenix is not really a little place; it's also not at all similiar weather-wise to my current location. It's funny, I spent 13 years of my life stuck in a desert. And once I realized what else was out there, all I wanted was to get out. I finally did when I got to Berkeley. Who would have ever guessed life would bring me back to a bigger desert? Crazy.
Anyhow, while in the state, I realized a few things. These things support my theory that you can literally catch inhibition disorder in Arizona:
1) Speed limit signs mean nothing to these people. You are officially on Tard Status if you are not at least doubling any posted speed limit under 35mph. This drives me up the fucking wall. I've always hated when cars get all up on me wanting me to speed up. Usually, I daydream about driving super slow and smiling big in the rearview. I usually stop myself from doing this. Arizona freed me from my self-imposed restraint. I did this numerous times. I enjoyed it far too much. Sometimes I flipped them off, if they had a Bush bumper sticker. Lots of them do.
2) Bitter overweight people sometimes take it out on others. I fly Southwest, airline of the poor. As I was boarding, my laptop bag accidently knocked the shoulder of some lady. She gave me the dirtiest look and said in the snidest tone "Why don't people like you check their baggage?!?" Normally, I would apologize profusely and feel super-bad. But, I had Arizona freedom, so my reply was "Why don't people like you buy two seats?" She was so offended. Any guilt I felt over my immature comment was gone by the time I received my complimentary in-flight Coke. Stupid Fatty.
3) "Cox Cable" owns the P.H.X. - Apparently, all services ranging from phone, cable, internet, everything - all come from the same company, Cox. I tried so hard to not be that lame person who busts out laughing everytime some person, the television or the radio, said Cox, which was a lot. But, alas, no avail. I'm that guy, like Beavis. "Huhu. They said 'Cox.'" Everytime.
I need to learn to keep my mouth shut, but this isn't my fault. I deny all allegations and blame it on that state.
posted by Lex Fori at
12:25 PM
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