Big Brother

I am screwed if there are video cameras in our building's elevators. I realized today, as I was lifting my skirt to adjust my undrewear, that I could be the laughing stock of a group of overweight security guards somewhere. When I'm alone in an elevator, I lack inhibition to a level similiar to that reached by people alone in their bathroom. I talk to myself, sing, do a little dance, pick my nose, lick my elbow...

I've done pretty much everything but masturbate in that elevator.